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A hearty feast of free readings, lectures, presentations, workshops and showcases celebrating our culture, community and the wild blue yonder.
 Where inquiring minds gather.
Okanagan Institute
at Hanna's Lounge
Click here for schedule
and information. |
Arts Council of the Central Okanagan is a resource centre and advocate for the arts in Kelowna and Central Okanagan. Find us at:
8-1304 Ellis Street
Kelowna BC V1Y 1Z8
Phone: 250.861.4123
Fax: 250.861.4155
Email: Click here
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Join the Arts Council of the Central Okanagan today and you will:
» Meet people who are involved in our arts community, and stay informed.
» Receive our weekly email newsletter, The Junction.
» Become eligible for group member grants.
» Have a worthy advocate to protect your artistic and cultural rights.
» Be able to join ARTSCO's special projects.
Click here to apply.
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Literary Arts
My Wife Got A Cat and I Got A Litter Box Bill Peckham
"Darlin'," she said sweetly. "It's time to clean Pooky-cat's potty-box."
That's rightŠ she got the cat I got the litter box. How did that happen anyway?
Have you ever cleaned a cat's litter box? No? Well let me tell you it is an experience. One I could definitely do without. Should be simple, right? Wrong. The required tool and equipment list is as long as your arm. There are two ways to clean a litter box. No, not the right way or the wrong way. You can get the little slotted shovel and fish those hard brown marbles out of the sandy litterŠ trying not to gag as you go. Required are a gas mask, slotted shovel, dainty little rake, plastic bag, plastic gloves and a strong stomach, which I don't have by, the way. Oh, yeah, don't forget the April-fresh-always-clean-little-lady-air-freshener spray. This first method is called "the fish 'n' drop" methodŠ no relation to a wonderful day on the lake with beer and sandwiches. Keeping your nose and eyes as far away from the litter as possible, pretend you are a kid again at the beach fishing for coins in the sand and fish for the hard-round-brown little marbles in the sand. Sift the sand through the slots in the shovel and drop the marbles into the plastic bag, try to avoid barfing, if you can. This is where the dainty little rake comes in handy. Comb the litter bringing more marbles to the topŠ then fish them out as before. Continue the above until no more marbles are found. Spray the April-fresh-always-clean-little-lady-air-freshener around and you are done. Done, that is, except for disposing of the bag of little brown marbles you have collected. Now, into the garbage pail with this dainty little package. This method can be done several times before you have to actually bring in the heavy-duty equipment and change the litter completely.
When should the litter box be cleaned? When the pungent scent of "Eau De Ammonia" assails your nostrils and takes your breath away or when Pooky-cat sticks her head into the potty-box, coughs, gags, backs up and crosses her legs tightly enough to make her eyes water. Let me tell you right up front, the job of the "official potty-box cleaner" is a thankless one. If you are stuck with the job you will soon learn it is better to clean oftenŠ this way you don't chuck your cookies each time.
Completely emptying and cleaning the litter box is really a covert, under-cover-of-darkness job. First, right after lunch, while the neighbours are having their afternoon siestas, go to the garden and, under the pretense of digging out some weeds, make a hole. This hole must be deep enough to hold the entire foul smelling and disgusting looking contents of the litter box. Later, by the light of the moon, and without the aid of a flashlight, sneak out to the garden and empty the litter box into the hole. Rake the soil, previously removed from the hole, on top of the litter and escape. If done correctly, you will not gag, your eyes will not water and the neighbours will be none-the-wiser. Everything in the hole will decay and any plants growing on this spot later will thrive. You will be the envy of the neighbourhood with tomatoes the size of softballs, zucchini that would make a football blush, and squash, big enough to feed the country's entire Olympic hockey team. Your neighbours will be hounding you for your secret of successful gardening and you can modestly say, "The cat's got my tongue."
We invite submissions from writers.
» The story or poem should not be over 2000 words and must be your own original work. All submissions must be word processed and emailed to us at our email address.
» Submissions must include your complete contact information: Name, Telephone, Email, Mailing Address.
» Please also include a short biography and if possible a small photo of yourself.
» The anonymity of all that submit a story or poem will be respected. Contact details supplied as part of your submission will not be disclosed to any third party.
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